I'm not one to rush in to the next stage, enjoying where we are and letting things change in time. Sometimes as parents we have to decide it's time, then other times our kids just begin to move on. We planned on keeping Danny in his crib until at least summer, but plans changed when the whole sleeping issues started up. He was still doing great with naps but he's scared at night and it made more sense to get him a bed where we could sit with him easier. I had been looking at bunk beds for a while and knew Ikea's Mydal was the best fit for us, so we finally threw him in the car and made the trip. We had been telling him for a while that he was going to get a big boy bed with a ladder, which was the selling feature for him. With our small house we were going to end up with bunkbeds at some point, so we decided to go right there, skipping the extra purchase of a toddler bed or regular twin bed. I still haven't figured out the best mattress option that we can afford, but my parents had an extra one in the basement that Danny had been using as a trampoline, so we borrowed it for the time being. He was excited to bring his jumping mattress home and said his bed was made of logs for Daddy to build, pointing to the directions and ordering Daddy around while he worked. We plan on painting the bed when we move it to his big boy room, but starting with a "log" bed seemed to be fun for him. After it was set up, we talked it up big all the next day. He got glow in the dark star stickers for the underside to put on with Daddy, and got to pick out a new tractor after he slept in it the first night. He picked out a little John Deere tractor with a poop flinger wagon (that's exactly what he calls it) and has now slept with it every night. He loves telling everyone about his big boy bed and now thinks he's big enough to sit at the table as well. We've agreed as long as he stays seated and asks to be excused, so he thinks he is just Mr. Cool right now. Since the other room still isn't ready yet, his room is kind of a cluttered mess of crib, bunks, changing table, and rocker all squished in, but he likes his bed. He's still waking up in the middle of the night, for whatever reason, but hopefully we can now work on that. At about 4 am he's angrily running down the hall calling Daddy to come back and sleep in the big boy bed, offended that he was left in the first place, but we're happy he's at least wanting to sleep in there. He's decided Baby Skippy can sleep on the top bunk and hasn't been too concerned with climbing the ladder. Not having a mattress on top helps discourage climbing for now and he's happily moved all his animals into his bed with him. He's much cozier now with flannel sheets and a down duvet, plus a nice wool throw, so hopefully the cold won't be a factor anymore waking him up. I was worried about him getting out of bed all the time, but he's still scared enough at night that we haven't tried having him fall asleep on his own yet. We also made the call a few weeks ago to take away his Foxie and Moosie wubbies. I was dreading the day and honestly dragging my feet at making him give them up. I remember the tramatic night I had to give up my pacifier, and he was so attached to them that we expected quite a few miserable days. When I heard husband Danny had a long weekend and I didn't need to worry about his sleep, we decided there wasn't a better time. I tried the cut-the-hole method, hoping little Danny would be content just keeping the animal. He's very particular about things and I was hoping that would work to our advantage. When he wasn't looking, I snipped the ends and then threw them back on the ground with his lamby, letting him discover it on his own. He noticed the hole before even putting it in his mouth and brought it to me saying "Uh-Oh." I acknowledged it was broken, but told him he could still try to use it if he wanted, and suggested maybe just hugging it would be better. He gave it one little nibble and he was done. That was it. Problem solved in about 30 seconds. (Yay for Pinterest parenting hacks!!!!) No fits, whining, or even concern about the animal at all, just content to keep Mimi (his lovey lamb) with him. I can't believe how well it worked and thank God for the easy transition. The wubbies are still around if he wants to play with them, but he hasn't given them a second thought. Not having to make it seem like he was being forced to give it up or some decision we made honestly made a huge difference. He's big on deciding things on his own and being able to make him think he decided to give it up really was a blessing. Since he has his lamb for comfort, he's not any needier without the pacifiers.
I honestly miss seeing that little moose hanging out of his mouth. He seemed so much younger with it, and I do think it did help him fall asleep faster, but at some point he had to give it up, and we didn't want to have to try to do it once the baby was here with it's own wubby. The only problem now is we've been spoiled with such an easy process that the next kid will seem super rough. (There's no way we're lucking out that much again.)
0 Comments
If you've read the blog a while you know I like picking a word for the whole year instead of resolutions. It does help me stay more focused and I find it sticks with me and shapes my year. Like always, it's almost February and I'm just settling down on it, but I'm excited that it's not what I was thinking God was going to lead me to pick. I like to try to have a word and a verse to focus on, and spend time praying about what God wants for my year. I thought it was going to be IRON with my verse being Proverbs 27:17. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 God has been bringing this verse to mind over the past few months, challenging me to step up, showing me where I'm hiding and disobeying. I hate being the iron. I enjoy sharing what God is doing in my life, but the moment someone says it convicted them I feel so bad, even if they don't mean it in an irritated way. I'd just rather be the peacemaking, don't make waves type person, but God keeps throwing me in situtions where I'm the weird one and telling me he wants to use me. My response is always either sharpen me, or find someone else to be your iron, and I say no. Let's be real, typically the iron isn't the most popular. We shoot the messenger all the time. Lately, God's been sticking me in situations that don't even require me to open my mouth to be the iron. Somehow me manages to use me even through my defiance and refusal to speak. Honestly it's irritating, but I guess that's how my kid feels when he tells me no and I make him do something anyways. So with this being such a lesson lately, and one I'm not getting very fast, I expected this to be where he was taking me for the year, but I'm so thankful it's not. It's a lesson I'm still learning, something that I'm not off the hook on, but he has blessedly given me another thing to focus on that will be more enjoyable as he continues to sharpen me and break my unwillingness to be used. This year he's given me the word NATURE Here's how I'm expecting this to manifest itself over the year: 365 Days outside I've really been trying hard to get Danny outside everyday and myself, although sometimes I just stay in and send him with daddy. Part of NATURE is our focus on being outside more, including me. It is so good for us all in so many ways and I really want to be out more and more, hopefully having him spend most of his warm season days all outside. It won't be long before he can be running and exploring all on his own without my watchful eye, so helping him know boundaries now and get used to playing outside will encourage this as he grows up. Hopefully, this will look like meals outside, naps for baby skippy in the shade, veggie gardening with Danny's help, early morning exercise and Bible study on the patio for me, more bonfires, and more playing with the animals. Danny loves being outside, so for him this will be exciting, I just can't get lazy about it. We have plenty of places to play and shady spots to rest so there's no excuse to be in on the couch. We made it all last year without ever using the air conditioning and I'm hoping to do that again with windows open and hopefully some pretty screen doors! Verse Study and Hymn FocusAlong with my BSF, I'd like to spend time really looking into the verses and hymns about God's wonders, power, and creation. I hope to include little Danny into part of this too. I think since it's still winter, we'll start with snow. I'm a mountain girl and love snow, and my mom is the same way. I've heard her challenge people who are constant complainers of snow to spend a snow day and read all the different verses that mention snow. I like the idea and think we'll start there. I see God so easily in creation and it is such a good way to remind me to be thankful. ArtI love painting, specifically painting nature scenes and tend to be inspired by poems and hymns I stumble across. I'd love to do more art in general and see it as a way I can worship God. Ever since I decided to paint as a form of thanks and worship of God for all he created, I tend to have more patience and enjoyment in my painting. When I get frustrated, I remind myself that I'm doing it as a way to remember God, what he has made, his immense power and beauty and the focus isn't on perfection of the final product. I really want to paint more and I'd love to have a collection of paintings paired with hymns and poems to reflect over God's creation and beauty. HealthWe've been big on slowly switching to a healthier lifestyle in the last year. I love listening to health podcasts, reading blogs from doctors, and (nerd alert!) reading medical journals. I've always loved medical journals and research, and now that I'm out of school and can read what I want, I'm remembering again what it is like to love learning. Everything I focus on mostly falls back to what my mom taught me about health as a kid, The way God intended it is probably the Best. There's more and more push out there for getting back to things the way Nature meant it to be, or as I like to say, God intended it to be. This means more cooking at home, less purchased, processed food. Less chemical products, less unhealthy habits. More movent and activity, more time as a family, more time in the dirt and sun, less technology. We've already done so much, but we're just going to continue to try baby stepping through these little changes and try to make them become a part of normal life. This also pushes us to live more without things, which is always a good reminder, continuing to push us to be content. My first year I ever picked a word I chose content, and it is always a prayer for me and for my family, so I'm glad to see how it will resurface. Contentment brings so much calmness, peace, enjoyment of life, and worship of God. It's more than just not wanting stuff, it's a wonderful blessing we can only find in God. I think that is why Paul referred to it as a secret. As we journey on I hope to share what we're doing over the year. How things are going, what we're doing and changing, maybe even share some of my art. I see this as a wonderful blessing God has set before me if I am willing to take hold and run with it. ...And I could just dance with joy that my word is not IRON. The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun. It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, like a champion rejoicing to run his course. It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other; nothing is deprived of its warmth.
Psalm 19:1-6 I love writing and something about poetry has always interested me. The lack of rules and the way it can share a story with such few words intrigues me. Sometimes when I can't sleep that's where my mind goes. I love reading A.A. Milne and Robert Lois Stevenson to baby because they both had the ability to capture the heart and mind of a child. I like to think that maybe they both wrote really for the benefit of the parents, helping dust the cobwebs off those childhood memories, softening out our calloused adult hearts to remember the joy and life of childhood. Secretly getting us to put ourselves in our child's shoes and look again through childish eyes to see the world as it was intended to be seen. Danny typically has been a good sleeper but just as we got back into a good rhythm, he's back in our bed thanks to the snow plows. I remember my childhood well, seemingly better than most people. I remember the terror of sleeping in my room alone. I remember honestly thinking that my friends parents who NEVER let them in their bed, must not love them as much. Thankfully I never told my friends that, but I remember feeling so sorry for them. I remember the fears and terror of being alone, and the immense comfort it brought getting to snuggle in my parents bed after a storm or nightmare. As a parent I understand wanting him in his own room, and with another baby coming in April, I don't want to build a habit. Then the memories of what it was like being so scared as a child toss me back to letting him in our room. That's currently where we are. Wading through the murky waters of the best solution, trying to balance empathy with firmness and discipline. Trying to discern when to fight him and when to be understanding. For some it is so easy to say "just throw him in his bed." "He's safe. He's fine. He'll get over it." Yes, that's all true, but for me it will never be easy. I don't disagree that it may be the course of action we need to take, but I also don't believe it being hard to do shows weakness. I sometimes wonder if some parents don't struggle with it because they've forgotten those fearful nights many years ago, where I have not. So while yes, to the adult, the snowplow is nothing to fear. We know it cannot come through the windows and eat our toes, but that is the understanding of a logical, seasoned, experienced adult. To a child everything has more life, more potential, more joy, yet, also at times, more fear. As I rocked baby last night as he clung to my neck crying, my mind was thinking of the irony of it all; a love by day and a fear by night. The poetic words began swirling around, reminding me what life it like in the mind of a child. I decide to share it as a reminder of childhood. Maybe another parent can read this and find that extra bit of patience they need, as they too, frustratingly wade the murky waters of firm discipline and gentle understanding.
As baby gets closer to the preschool age we are beginning to get the question about how, when, and where we plan to school. For us, homeschool has always been the plan, and with everyday we get closer to having to make the decision, we feel stronger and stronger about it. However, we want to do what we feel God is asking us to do with each child, so where God takes us is ultimately the deciding factor. As soon as we mention homeschool, a vast amount of opinions, suggestions, and questions come our way. There's more to homeschooling than just schooling at home, with various philosophies, methods, curriculums, etc. Gone are the days when parents think you're some backwoods, jean skirt wearing, unsocialized Jesus freak. People are starting to recognize the appeal of it, and most excitingly, research is beginning to show homeschooling has many advantages too. The people that I've run into that are the most closed minded are teachers, but it's hard for anyone to admit that there are people out there that DIY their profession. I'm sure contractors get plenty annoyed at all the home DIYers. To their credit, there are plenty of really bad home projects, but there are also some amazing DIYers out there too, who have just knocked it out of the park. Homeschool is basically DIY teaching. Just like there are plenty of good and bad certified teachers out there, there are plenty of good and bad, uncertified homeschool moms. You just have to know where you fit and it's okay to know if something isn't your thing. As I've begun having these conversations, observing others already homeschooling, and listening to them, I've quickly realized that if I don't want to be tossed around by the homeschool world, I need to get my priorities set. Homeschoolers love chatting with like kin about their passion, but that passion can quickly get you down a rabbit hole of people pushing their priorities on you. Originally, I planned to do what was already familiar and easy, sticking to things pretty much like school (I was a teacher for pete's sake, why reinvent the wheel?!) But, the more thought I put into why we’re taking this road and what we want schooling to look like, the more my thoughts began to shift on the matter. (Aren't I doing this to give him a different experience than typical school?) As I devote more time pondering the long-term lessons I want my kids to know, the deep rooted WHY behind what we’re doing, I find myself now swinging the complete opposite direction than what I originally expected. I’m learning I’m not fitting in with even the popular homeschool culture, at least not in my area, and I'm finding it may be the other homeschool moms out there that are going to give me the most grief, not the school teachers like I thought. But this challenge is driving me to research and educate myself more, to analyze my choices, my motives, and desires behind them, and not just make decisions on a whim. There are a lot of reasons to homeschool and I've had enough conversations to realize that if I can identify the root reason someone is homeschooling, I can almost guess how our conversation will go. It's funny too, how we can say one thing, yet our actions show something else. I'm always asking myself what am I prioritizing, because what I prioritize is truly what I value, despite what I may tell myself. It is so easy to convince yourself something is important, but when you look at what you prioritize, it exposes your root values. Church is one thing I'm always checking myself on. I say it's important to me, but when I use the excuse of sleeping in, avoiding germs, or spending time with family to skip service, then ultimately what my actions are showing is sleep, health, and family time is really more important than my time with God. Yet it is so easy in life to fool ourselves! We believe our own lies and ignore what our every day actions are showing. I find I'm constantly having to check my heart and motives over homeschool decisions as I ponder the route we want to go. It's easy to say one thing, but get sucked another way because my priorities are off. I see this in my conversations with others. Some people are honestly aware of their priorities in how they homeschool, and then others are completely blind, telling me all about what they value yet their decisions don't seem to align. No two people will agree on everything and that's not the point, it's the blindness that is dangerous and something I want to avoid. It's those moms that know their priorities, that honestly check their heart and motives to God's word in their decision making, that I want to learn under. As I wade through the various suggestions, advice, and beliefs of others I also have to keep checking myself and why I am agreeing or disagreeing. Why I am being pulled toward a curriculum or method, not just weighing the pro's and con's. Looking at my own heart's motives in my response reveals way more about the way we need to go than debating about developmental stages, age appropriateness, or college readiness. So then I keep asking myself: "What am I prioritizing?" "What honestly is the root driving everything?" "What do I want my real root reason for homeschooling to be?" So to give us a firm foundation to stand on as we wade through the many decisions over the next several years, I decided that Danny and I needed to take a hard look at why are we doing this. What do we want? What rabbit trails might we get sucked down? To do this we started with what homeschooling is not to us. I felt this was really important for us, because there is some truth in each one. However, these areas are where I feel a lot of the real pressure from other homeschoolers comes from, and where we can easily get distracted, prioritizing the wrong things. These things aren't wrong in themselves, but we don't want them to be the driving factors behind our decisions. We are not homeschooling to:
Then Danny and I looked into what we wanted out of homeschooling. Some of these things could possibly fit into areas above, which is why we did our NOT list first. Below are the benefits we hope to see. If something drastically interferes with these things we value, then it is a good clue maybe it isn't the best decision for our family. Top Reasons why we are Homeschooling:
Finally, we both came up with a mission statement for our little homeschool. Danny and I both wrote our own and compared, using both to create one for our family. It sounds so nerdy, but I need something solid to fall back on, to remind myself why we have made the decisions we have, and to guide further decisions down the road. Our Mission Statement To train our children with a Biblical foundation in every aspect and subject of their learning, creating independent, lifelong learners, bubbling with curiosity and creativity in God’s magnificent creation and appreciating God’s character in the world they live. To teach in a way that values every learner and their unique, God-given learning styles and interests, developing each child’s strengths and weaknesses to equip them in an eternally focused, God-honoring way that allows them to make sense of their world, grounded on the guidance and direction of the Bible and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This was so helpful for me to process through and helps me stay grounded. I've already had people surprised Danny doesn't know his letters, numbers, shapes, and counting. He's terrified to potty train and still has a pacifier. But he told me the other day which part of the sky the sun goes night night and which way is the right way to go home from the store, both I've never taught him. He can name all the different construction vehicles, tell you Paul wrote the book of Romans, remember where all his outerwear goes in the mudroom, and make connections between books and stories that I don't even think to make. The thing is, every mom could come up with a similar list of things for their kids, because kids are always learning. I can allow the pressures of society to make me feel inadequate, or just be grateful for the little person God has given me and enjoy the time watching him learn. I can't allow worldly pressure, my own insecurities, pride, laziness, or whatever else to distract me from our main goal. Both Danny and I gave top priority to providing a Christian and biblically infused education for our children. It is not just something that is Christian, but something that is gospel centered to it's very foundational core. We don't want the Bible to be an add on subject, but something woven throughout every aspect of their learning. That right there is what will be the root of our decisions and what will separate us from others. Plenty of people won't even understand the difference between a Christian education versus one that is biblically infused. Even other Christian homeschoolers may value a biblical education but may have a different top priority. Their decisions will be different, their motivations will be different, their priorities will be different, and I have to keep that in mind as I take advice. Ultimately, we need to do what is best for our family and where we believe God is leading us.
|
About The KelleysThe Choosing Home PodcastCategories
All
Archives
September 2022
|