It's finally here, the time to begin officially schooling. We begin after labor day, and I must say I have mixed emotions. While I see this as a new stage of life, I FOUGHT HARD to protect the early years. For the last six years, our focus has been to enjoy the calm, quiet, simplicity of the little years. We had minimal obligations, lots of time exploring, playing, and just being. I saw as incredibly important not to skip or rush these last few years. I will forever cherish the last six years. Honestly, I'm grieving a bit over the loss of this stage as we welcome the next. There is so much pressure to rush kids on, begin schooling, worksheets, activities, and learn those letters by age three. It is quite difficult, and at times a bit monotonous, to live life slow and simple. We said "no" to a lot, but we can never go back to these days once they are over. There is still time for activities, schooling, classes, and sports, so we chose to wait and savor the first six years at home. I had several goals driving our approach to the early years. I wanted the boys to learn to play on their own and not need to be entertained by going out. I wanted them to develop a love for home. I wanted them to see the blessings God gave them in their own backyard, before showing them what else is out there. They needed to learn to hear quiet, to see the same old stuff, so they could learn to push past the boredom and into creativity. If I wanted them to sit still, I needed to make an atmosphere that naturally required it. If it wanted them to think on their own, I needed to let them have time to problem solve and create in their own ways. All though this was all very intentional, it mostly happened by removing things that hindered these goals. We didn't sign up for sports or activities. We did't allow any technology. We filled our home with books upon books. The yard looks like a junk heap of toys. There are three different "construction sites" in the yard where rocks and bricks have been laid, culverts dug, gates hung, bridges built, and grass planted. My home doesn't look like a magazine at all. There's a bug house with caterpillars on the table, drawings plastered all over the fridge, a forever dirt ring in the bathtub, and Legos regularly found in the washer, but its been a good six years. We didn't do school last year. Is it finally ok to now admit that? I know, who has a almost seven year old in kindergarten these days? (Gasp!) Despite the fact his dad and I weren't worried, everyone else seemed deeply concerned. I saw very quickly that Danny was going to get a lot of flack for NOT doing school. I could've argued how Finnish kids have great test scores despite their late start, that both my husband and I have Master's in Early Childhood Education, and legally our son wasn't required to start yet, but honestly mommy picking the fight would have just put Danny in the crossfire. I had to realize that if we were really bucking the system, we were going to be challenged. Danny already had a pretty bad attitude about school, and any extra attention and questions about it didn't help. I wrestled with what was the right call. I did not want to allow others to pressure my decisions, or make a choice against what was best, just to "fit in better." Yet, I also didn't want my child bombarded with the disapproval he was experiencing, because I was on some soapbox. It was my choice, not his, but people were directing their questions and concerns to him instead of me, something I did not expect. I decided it wasn't fair to make him carry that burden. The questions were making his hatred of school worse, so I found a way around it. I ordered some curriculum, so I could tell people what we had bought for school, and I just left out that we weren't really using it yet. I told Danny we were doing some school until his attitude changed, and he could answer adults questions respectfully. We did a little letter and number practice and read books, but this time I called it "school." We had a big first day of school kick off, so he could honestly say, "Yes, we started school." Danny finally saw school was no different than what we regularly do, and I worked with him on how to explain to others about what he was enjoying. We never cracked open that curriculum. He wasn't ready, and I was at peace waiting. It was a blessing to get one more quiet year. Our goal last year was to simply change Danny's poor attitude about school. This year he's excited to start. It's amazing what a lot of prayer and giving him time to develop on his own can do. Hindsight, I can see we definitely made the right call. This year he is ready. Last year he was not. Had I tried to start last year, we would have had a year of frustration, and possibly burnt ourselves out before we really started. I would have felt guilty starting him too soon and giving into the peer pressure of keeping up. Who knows if he or I would have ever gotten our feet back under us. Seven years ago, God gave him that late birthday. God knew, before I did, that Danny was going to need an extra year before starting. His plan was already in place for the child from day one, having it all in control, before I knew anything about homeschool start dates. Had Danny been born a few weeks earlier, he would have been required by law to start last year, and it would have been brutal. So this year, we will start kindergarten and in two weeks he will be seven. In the United States that's almost unheard of and definitely frowned upon. No, he's not reading yet and he hasn't taken a test yet, but he's going to be ok! He got six wonderful years to soak in the skills he needed. The child can reason and problem solve better than a lot of adults. He can sit still and not need constant entertainment. He knows what it means to have responsibilities and follow through. He's extremely reliable and can pull his weight already on the farm. His work ethic is shockingly good, and despite not reading, he can make decent sense of directions and books. He somehow has basic math facts memorized, despite not knowing anything about written equations, and he understands many of the concepts from just living life on the farm. Danny has learned plenty in the last six years, we just didn't call it "school." I think everyone would agree that skipping Elementary school and throwing eight year olds directly in middle school isn't a good idea. They need the elementary stage first. We know they aren't ready for such a jump. Each stage builds upon the previous. Nothing, including children, stands well on a shaky foundation. Elementary isn't any less valuable than the other grades, but for some reason we don't see the value anymore in the little years. Kids need those years to make elementary successful, and the amount of time needed depends on the need for each kid. In my opinion, it is not elementary that builds a foundation, but the early years. Proper schooling is when we begin building up, so those foundations are laid before schooling. Danny is now required by law to start school. This year we can't go back. The little years are over and a new season has begun. I am so thankful I didn't give away any of those years too soon.
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