The new gravel has been wonderful and made everything look so much better. We used part of the pile for the new chicken coop path and for the veggie garden and the rest was for the driveway and garage. Unfortunately not all of the garage was able to be filled, but part of the inside was bare dirt so it was nice to be able to get that part covered. Little Danny and Elmer loved playing in the gravel pile every day but they weren't making much of a dent in actually spreading it out. I was worried Danny was going to be really upset when we finally spread out his "grabel," but when our friend showed up with his skid steer to do the work, Danny couldn't have been more excited. What we expected to take hours of work was done in a matter of minutes, and little Danny is still talking about it. He regularly calls Josiah on his toy phone, requesting the skidsteer to come back. He now drives his own little dump truck around the driveway and doesn't seem to be bothered at all that his rock mountain is gone. Our garage was just a dirt mess, especially under the workbench, and the barn cats had been caught using the loose dirt as a litterbox (barf). We fixed their little cookies and gave them a nice layer of gravel so now they can go back out in the field. The kittens seem to enjoy playing with Danny's dump truck as well, and now just see the area is a new playground, which is much better. The driveway puddles are gone and now you can tell where the driveway ends and the yard starts, instead of it all just oozing together. Little Danny's vehicles sometimes get stuck in the gravel, but he's gotten pretty good at figuring out how to get them out. Currently the mission is to stop all the weeds from poking through and ruining the new look. It is a constant battle, but things still look so much better. People have told us how unfortunate it is for us to have a gravel drive, but we actually like it. Everything needs maintenance at some point and while we deal with weeds we don't have to worry about cracks or sealing it. What we like the best is the noise it makes when someone pulls up. No one can sneak a car in the gate with us not knowing because the crunch of gravel gives it away. Even at night if a car turns around at the barn or gate I notice the sound. You could say its our cheap redneck gate alarm.
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These days little Danny is full of questions. We skipped the "WHY" stage and he went straight to wanting to know about anything and everything. "Where's it come from?" "What's that (fill in toddler description) thing?" "Where's it?" "Where's our house go?" "What's that noise? My hear something." "What my mell?" (What do I smell?) We're answering hundreds of questions a day and car rides now don't have much room for conversation time between mom and dad. Danny wants to know about everything, and you better not give him a one word answer, or you're getting the same exact question thrown right back at you. I've learned the trick to not getting the same question, is giving him a long enough answer that just begins to hit the boring, too-much-information zone. Thank goodness he's learning to at least describe things now, and were past him expecting us to know exactly what he spotted while we were driving 70 mph on the highway. He's learning to describe by color, size and shape, which helps us out. If its a sound, he's getting pretty good at mimicing just about anything. Sometimes he doesn't like our answer and corrects us. Why he has to ask about something he already knows, I still haven't fiured out. Sometimes we just throw the question back at him, if we know he already knows the answer. And boy is this kid observant! I honestly can believe what he notices, connects, and even remember from months past. He notices everytime I'm hurting and hold on to the handle to get out of the car saying, "You got out like Nana." (Exactly what everyone wants to hear, that they're moving as well as their 80 year old grandma.) He notices sounds I completely tune out. Last night he asked, "Whats that noise?" When I incorrectly said it was the birds out the window, he said, "no" and made a low humming noise. Only then did I realize the dehumidifire hum running up the vents from the basement. "What my mell" is one of his top questions, especially in the car. From rain in the air to manure at the barn, he notices and asks about it all. For the first time I've noticed the sweet, faint smell of honeysuckle coming in the windows on the drive home along the river. How many times have I done that drive and never even noticed it. I am truly thankful what he is opening my eyes (and ears and nose) to. Every parent will tell you playing non-stop 20 questions makes you about ready to go to insane. Its the constant, "Where's my house go," and "Mommy point to my house," when we're nowhere close, that is exasperating. It is like he thinks if I point to where it is, it will magically appear and we will be home. When that starts we try to find anything out the window for redirecting for everyone's sake. Not liking my answer, or those times I have no idea what he's talking about, can be really frustrating for both of us. He's not the type to be fooled about me not knowing what he is asking, and I don't want to lie and just make up something to shut him up. I try to explain that I don't always know but it is a good question. Sometimes I suggest someone else he can ask, or we just talk about how God made things the way they are. The thing is, I love seeing how his mind works, how he wants to learn, and how observant he is, but it is a daily test on my patience. I'm trying to remind myself when he's asked me the same thing for the 100th time to be patient, talk kindly, apprecitiate his learning, and try to find the humor in it all. The thing is, the kid is freaking smart! I'm not saying he's any genius or even smarter than any other kid, but compared to me he's miles ahead. Kids have a fresh, energetic, inquisitive mind that we as adults tend to lose. They want to learn, to explore, to question. Everything is new and fascinating. They will make connections to things we never thought of and notice the tinest of details if we just keep out mouths closed and let them explore. They don't have the negative look on things. Life isn't boring. They don't know everything and are completely ok admitting it. He's teaching me again to notice the little world around me. I don't need to go anywhere to have an adventure or be entertained, I just need to reengage my mind again. For as exasperating at times it can be, I don't want to squelch his inquisitive mind. I don't want to teach him to live life with a brain on autopilot. I want him to share his interests, questions, ideas, and observations with me. I want him to know I really do care about what he thinks. But none of that will stay if I respond with a tone, or a quick answer. He'll eventually not share his mind with me, and maybe even worse, completely quit thinking. I don't want to have a teenager someday, who doesn't want to talk to me, because, as a toddler, I taught him I was too impatient and uninterested to care to listen.
Unfortunately I don't feel I do well at it. When I have responded wrongly, I apologize. I tell him it wasn't ok for me to be cross or short. I tell him I need to speak kindly and ask God to help me when I feel impatient. I also tell him how much I really love that he wants to learn and I want him to ask questions. I tell him how I love his stories and knowing what he is thinking. These days it is my prayer that I will be able to listen, engage, be patient, and value those questions in the moment because I really do love how his mind works. How is baby Benjy already one month old?! Time has flowin by and it's been a crazy first month, to say the least, with a wedding, surgery, and new job for Daddy. Other than our overnight adventure at the hostpital, we've lucked out with another pretty easy baby. He is a good eater and sleeper, 3-4 hours at a time, so I feel like I'm getting great sleep. He spits up and actually needs burped, which I wasn't used to, but I've gone off dairy and that seems to help. His little face is so tan with big blue eyes and dark fluffy hair. We have been joking he has frimples (frown dimples) as compared to his brother's normal smile dimples. Benjy attended his first wedding. It was a huge praise I was feeling well enough to be in my cousin's wedding, something I wouldn't feel up for now. Benjy came to the reception with Daddy and slept through everything, inlcuding dancing with Mommy. The month ended with a trip to Nationwide Children's hospital for surgery for the poor guy. He did great, but it wasn't easy to have our little baby having to be put under so young. He was such a trooper and our little hummingbird loved the little sugar water they gave him while trying to get blood and his IV in. Now he has an open wound that must stay clean so he's getting multiple baths day and night, which he loves. (We're not so fond of 3AM bathtime.) Little Danny overall has enjoyed being a big brother, although he has had his moments. We've had some good conversations about jealousy and how to use his words to share his feelings. My pain has been coming back and I find myself able to do less now than two weeks ago, which confuses Danny. It is hard to get a two year old to understand why mommy can't carry him when he sees Benjy getting carted around. Now with school out he can get more time with Daddy so hopefully that will help a bit. Danny loves getting to help care for Benjy, give him kisses, and hold his hand. He comes in and sings Good Morning God to Benjy and loves when Benjy gives him a smile. Before leaving the hospital he gave Benjy a little kiss and kept saying Benjy didn't want to go while we were driving there. It is warm outside now, and Benjy spends a lot of his time sleeping in the wagon while Danny plays outside. For me, it hasn't been an adjustment at all going from one to two. Thankfully, it is exactly how I expected and I think watching the other boys really helped me transition without an issue. Benjy is easy and learning to go with the flow. How we've managed to get two easy babies I don't know, but I'm very thankful. I love having a baby back in the house but I am also ready to be without pain and able to get normal life done. Daddy officially said goodbye to his classroom and 45 minute commute and is now going to be teaching 3rd grade in our district just 7 miles away! Previously he was driving 14,060 miles a year, now he's down to 2,627. (Yeah he did the math.) From gas to distance to insurance, it is such a blessing it is in so many ways and he will be able to see the boys in the morning now before work. We're so glad he's home for the summer!!!
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