Today it was raining and the boys were pleading to go out, so we packed a picnic lunch to eat in the woods. We walked through the drizzle and shortcut through the trees to made it to the cabin before the downpour. They snacked to the sound pattering rain on the porch roof and watch the pond sparkle with splatters. We sat for a long while in silence just listening to clamor of the rain around us. Finally, I mentioned that most people wouldn’t want to picnic in the rain. Little Danny gave me a look of surprise. He said he liked the rain because it was cool. Then he said those people must be dingbats because the rain makes it cool off and not so hot. I said I like the sound of the rain in the trees and we talked about how we could tell if the rain had stopped or not by watching the water on the pond. I had brought our book of nature poems along and I read aloud one about summer rain. Danny’s eyes lit up with new understanding, living out the words on the page. He smirked and said, “That’s what we’re doing.” Rain in Summer by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow How beautiful Is the rain! After the dust and heat, In the broad and fiery street, In the narrow Lane, How beautiful is the rain! How clatters among the roofs, Like the tramp up hoofs! How it gushes in struggles out From the throat of the overflowing spout! Across the window pain It pours and pours; And swift and wide, With a muddy tide, Like a river down the gutter roars The rain, the welcome rain! We’ve been taking daily walks all summer, usually one in the morning and one in the evening, when it’s a bit cooler. A few times we’ve taken a snack or picnic lunch, which my perpetually hungry boy loves. The amount of things we gather to take seems ridiculous, and I need a better way to corral it all, but our times have been sweetly pleasant.
While most people fill their summers, I planned ours as a time of stillness and rest. Bible study is on break so I felt it was the time to embrace the lack of business. I’m thankful I made that decision. I don’t think I’ll look back in 10 years and say “I wish we filled our days more when they were little.” I think we’ll remember these days as the good old days. Sweet, simple, innocent, and uninterrupted.
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Instilling the word of God unto the hearts of your children is forever an ongoing process. During a conversation a few years ago about children’s spiritual growth, a church leader sarcastically said, “yeah who really does family devotions anyways.” I will admit I didn’t say “we do.” I felt embarrassed and naive that we were doing it. I should’ve spoke up, but no one usually want to listen to the wisdom of a new mom, because what do we really know. But new moms still have excitement, drive, and hopes that contrast the cynical, self-centered, lukewarm view of some empty-nesters. I didn’t need to be told to quit trying Family devotions, but encouraged to keep it up because it will be tough. I needed advice, that only an experienced mature believer can give, on how to wade through those tantrum waters ahead. But that’s not what was offered and I wonder how many other moms feel alone, helpless, exhausted, failures, and confused and all the advice they get is “you were foolish for even trying.” I’ve been blessed with a strong extended family to help guide, but not everyone has that. So after our complete utter disaster of today, I wanted to share what real life Family Bible time looks like at home, in hopes to encourage someone else. We do a couple things right now: •Family Bible Study •Family Quiet Time •Memory Verse Reading Right now, for our Family Bible Study, we have a Bible basket that holds my two Bibles, my devotional, and our children’s picture Bibles. The boys can pick which Bible to read and look at pictures quietly while I get my own reading in. Once I have my own time, I read a chapter aloud out of my Bible and a story from theirs that they have chosen. We end in prayer...at least that’s how Hallmark would show it. Today we took our Bibles on our morning walk to do our Family Bible reading. The boys reading on their own is new to them, but we’re trying to teach them the habit of daily being in the word. So far, the three year old wants nothing of it. He refused to open his Bible and complained. The baby took his short baby time, but while he was quiet, the three year old whined. Then baby was finished and crying to climb on the rock, so my own quiet window was lost. I read my devotional to the sound of complaining children and then read a chapter of Proverbs to them, while they climbed on the rock, repeatedly brushing ants off the baby and taking pebbles from his hands. Then the three year old complained he wanted a snack I fought the urge to scold a plethora of Christian guilt to try to manipulate my child to opening his Bible. It’s so hard to accept that as a parent I have no control over my child’s heart. There’s no magic words or steps to promising a little angel heart, devoted to God and obedience. But even if he was sitting pleasantly, singing hymns, and whispering little child prayers to God, it doesn’t mean a thing. He could just know how to manipulate a situation to look good and get mommy’s approval, and I could get an A+ at raising a little hypocrite. So I look for the silver lining; he’s honest with me. I’m seeing his true heart so I know how to pray. He actually did end up flipping through his Bible on the rock, while I was reading aloud, and he even asked a question about one of the proverbs so he WAS LISTENING. They’re learning it’s important. I’m learning to hold my tongue, to persevere, and that God calls me to instruct them, not to change their heart, I must leave that to Him. I don’t save. I am not the giver of knowledge and understanding. He is. So we’ll do it again tomorrow. Again, I’ll take a deep breath and ignore the attitudes and whining. I’ll try to read a bit myself and share how special our time is. This afternoon will be our family quiet time and they like that, but we’ve been doing it longer. We get out our special blankets and lay on the floor and be still, listening to God, praying, or thinking about him. I try to alternate doing it with and without baby. He needs to learn the habit of sitting still, but he doesn’t get it yet. He’s crawling all over and thinks it’s a wonderful time, so it’s a bit distracting. The thing, is he knows it’s a special time and he IS learning. We did quiet time during baby’s nap yesterday and forgot to put away the blankets. He squealed when he saw them and immediately sat down...and then stood up and sat in a new spot...and then found another new spot. He isn’t quiet, being still lasts maybe 10 seconds, but he wants to do it with us. Very rarely is anything picture perfect, and if it is it lasts just long enough to maybe snap a picture but that’s it. A picture makes a specific time last forever because it stopped that time, but time doesn’t stop and neither does a toddler. Memory verse reading is simply that, my Bible is usually on the table during meals and I read the same verses over and over. I underline the verse and mark each page with some sparkly washi tape to make it easy to find. We all end up learning the verses and little Danny enjoys the routine and repetition. Slowly more verses are added, so at this point we already sometimes don’t get through them all, but Danny knows almost all of them. Danny isn’t a performer and if he’s told to memorize or asked to recite he will dig in his heels and refuse to do anything. The pressure of messing up makes him refuse to try, so we don’t even act like it’s anything more than reading. For a time he wanted to say them with me, but now he refuses. He comments at church if he hears one he knows, and he regularly recites Joshua 1:9 to me the moment I’m showing any frustration. So, I’ll give up having a performing monkey and trust God to do the work. If I stay consistent at reading them, the boys are hearing them as well, and whether they want to memorize them or not, they are. We are just working a little slower, but I don’t know who we’d be racing anyways. These times aren’t perfect or consistent. There’s days where I’m grumpy or seasons where we’ve gotten out of the habit, but just because a habit broke doesn’t mean we can’t pick it back up. I remember in high school my pastor saying, “if you quit reading the Bible because you failed to read the whole thing in a year, so what! Keep going! Don’t you think God would rather have you read it than quit because YOU didn’t meet the timing YOU decided.” I apply the same reasoning to family quiet time. I’m to be faithful, that doesn’t mean perfect. If we’ve gotten off track, praise the Lord for his graciousness in showing me, praise Him for His patience, His mercy, His forgiveness. He knew I’d fail and never expected me not to, that’s why He sent Christ. Praise Him for providing a Savior, for His unconditional love, for His direction and discipline, and get back to where we need to be.
I’ve been on a mission to get healthier,( I know who isn’t), but this has been the driving force behind a lot of our decisions lately. Healthy for us means getting back to the way God intended things. Reducing chemicals and toxins, including wholesome variety of foods, cutting the processed, cooking from scratch, living with less, and being quiet before the Lord, remembering what he has done for us. Healthy for us is tailored to our needs, so what works for us is simply just that, what works and benefits the family. I’m a health nerd, constantly reading and listening to the latest research. And when I say I like reading health stuff, I’m not talking Womens magazine or what the Toady show may report. I’m talking the nerdiest, driest, jargon filled medical books that challenge my comprehension ability because I’m not quiet smart enough to read them.😆 I’m deep into reading about detoxification and dream of owning a far infrared sauna, and either a reverse osmosis or alkaline water for the house. If we build, I’d want a toxic free home, something not in the budget, and I talk or hardwiring our internet to reduce EMFs and have considered shutting off the power at night (don’t worry I haven’t don’t it.) I am a label reader, I’ve thrown away all toxic make up, chemicals, products, and purged our home. I’ve gotten rid of all fire resistant PJs and am particular now about what comes in the home. I’ll buy anything in glass over plastic, and annoy my family that aluminum foil and plastic wrap are banned from our house. I bore (and sometimes annoy) my family with my conversations of toxins, diet, and health, but I hardly ever get tired of learning more. And if I haven’t convinced you enough of my nerdiness, I have a spreadsheet on healthy mattress options, I mean we’re talking uber nerd here! We’ve found a new integrative pediatrician that has helped get so many answers in just two visits! We have a plan for baby’s constipation, educational resources for me to learn about it, and no medications, just natural treatment that got results and a much happier baby. He confirmed a rare genetic form of anemia, and developed an action plan. We’ve spent hundreds of dollars over anemia issues with the boys, regularly visiting hematologists downtown at the hospital for monitoring. I kept asking them about the cause, pushing if there could be a hereditary link, as this pattern is a generational one. I’ve experienced what anemia can do to you so I know how to cook and eat in the most iron benefitting way. This just didn’t make sense, because we were being way more proactive about it than most parents, and most kids aren’t anemic. I was told point blank “ there isn’t a genetic form of anemia .” When I asked about it possibly being a symptom of something else, they acted like I was being ridiculous to consider looking for and underlying cause, but to me there were so many unanswered questions that no one cared to look at. Our new doctor listened to me, he heard I hadn’t put baby on dairy, I was feeding him iron rich foods, cooking in cast iron, avoiding iron absorbing inhibitors, giving baby lime water to help with absorption, making him liver Pate, and brother, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother all have anemia. His comment, “ Well you know there’s a genetic form of anemia don’t you? It’s rare but we should at least rule it out.” Two visits. It took just two visits with a doctor who would listen to begin getting the help my baby needed. I feel so blessed we found our new doctor. It is an huge answer to prayer. We loved our old one but we didn’t see eye to eye, so I decided to try a switch. I was worried I’d made a mistake but God has blessed us with someone that fits for our needs. So I’d figure I’d share our journey. Share what we’ve learned and what crazy health thing I’m boring my family with these days, because it was by word of mouth that we’ve stumbled into a lot of where we are now. The health knowledge has been a hard battle, especially with Benjy’s health through the first year. I am a people pleaser and I know I’m not trained in medicine, but there have been many times I have disagreed with his doctors, my gut told me to get a different opinion, to challenge what we’re told, and that doesn’t always go over well. I dread seeing doctors because I don’t want to offend them by asking questions, but my mama bear is stronger than my people pleasing so I ask and then I hate myself for caring about what the doctors think of me. I hate I can be pushed by peer pressure from the doctors to treat in ways I’m not comfortable with, and I see my glaring need to be liked can be stronger than my concern form my kid. Gods using it all to make me wrestle with my people pleasing problem and I wish I could just switch of my need to be liked.
Thankfully my grandma’s cousin is a doctor and has helped give me the confidence to keep pushing and know when to seek other opinions. It’s hard to have doctors talk down to you, be irritated that you ask questions, and be close minded to other alternatives, but my uncle told me a mother knows her baby the best and to never look down on my intuition. He said a good doctor will value that too. Home-what?! Homeschooling, home improvements, homesteading, yes we’re definitely homebodies! We’re perfectly content in our home and really don’t care to ever leave. When we first moved out here, the idea of homesteading was nowhere on our radar. The closest I thought I’d get was maybe owning a chicken and growing a tomato plant, but life in the country has definitely changed us. As we’ve been trying to get healthier food for our family on a tight budget, we realize our best option is raising a lot of the food ourselves. When we moved out here, I thought that people who raised meat chickens were insane, and I said I’d never ever in 1 million years consider bees. And why would anyone in their right mind want to raise a pig?! Now we find ourselves considering all these options...maybe ducks...maybe turkeys. Could someday maybe we handle a dairy cow? Our garden is expanding and what we want to raise is expanding too. We now own the barn across the street and our options are no longer limited to our acre yard. We tend to be over thinkers and over planners, and we aren’t the type to just jump right into something without any thought. This has been in the works more than most people realize, we’ve just been trying to think through things first before getting a plethora of opinions. So that dairy cow is only an idea, and probably, I would still say, not going to happen, but the meat chickens are happening, and with the number of books my husband has been reading on bees, they may be more in the future than I ever expected. I really want ducks, although we are in a disagreement on whether that’s a good choice, sheep, flowers; the things we’ve thrown around are quite the mix.
Right now we currently have 75 chickens, 2 goats, 2 dogs, and a cat and 5 kittens, plus two raised veggie beds, an herb bed, and my flower garden. Only time will tell where we’ll end up next. |
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