We will never live in a completely toxic-free home, but ever since I began researching optimal health for our family, we’ve been on a path to getting our home as toxin-free as possible. I started researching before I had kids, but once they arrived I became even more concerned over the toxins. As I tried to figure out the puzzle of my son’s many symptoms, I became aware of all the things that could be throwing his little body off. For years we’ve dealt with eczema, random rashes, unexplained fevers, chronic belly pain, and reacting to so many foods that we felt like we were limited on what to eat. Now, all those symptoms are gone! We have brought back in foods we never dreamed the boys would tolerate again, their moods are better, and they don’t seem to be getting as sick as often. There’s been so many things at play in all the improvement, including prayer, but the changes we made we won’t go back on. Diet and improving the quality of our food has been a huge change, but that will have to be a whole different post. There are decisions we made in the past that weren’t the best (like our mattress), but it’s not in the budget to replace it, so I focus attention to areas we can fix. When we need something new, I take some time to buy better, at least as much as our budget will allow. Reducing toxins is a journey and be very overwhelming at first, but just taking baby steps can really get you so far. Now we’re the people friends and family look at and say, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never get there,” but I said the same thing years ago. We’ve made little changes over the years, not stressed over it (stress is nasty for health anyway), and all those changes slowly add up. We’ve done what works for us, prioritized what fit our needs, and just kept our focus on getting better. Not everyone wants to, or can do all the research, so I thought I’d share what our family has done so far as well as some great easy resources for more info. Obviously, I’m not a doctor and I’d never recommend taking any advice without doing your own research. This is just what we have done so far to make our home a healthier oasis. I personally don’t even trust my doctors’ advice, without looking at the opposing views. I want to make as educated of a decision as possible on what is best for me and my family. Perfection is a myth. We’ll never have a perfectly clean, toxin-free home in this fallen world, so I let go of that idea a long time ago. Little changes can go a long way and there were so many simple changes I wish I knew about years ago. I thought I’d share what we have done, just one mom to another, wanting to help make home as wonderful of a place for the little babies we raise in them. KitchenI’ve been working hard to get plastic out of our home for years. My mom always taught us it was better to avoid it, but convenience always won over health, until I decided to pick my uncle’s medical brain one day and ask what he thought was the most important thing I could do to get ready for baby. The answer, get rid of plastic, especially in the kitchen and baby products. I was shocked, expecting a vaccine conversion or something on diet, sleep, or child development, but he didn’t even have to think, he had his answer, REDUCE PLASTIC. That started my research and I found plastic is horrible, especially in the kitchen, and black plastic is the worst. So all black plastic went in the trash immediately, and then we slowly started switching other things over to better options. 1. Glass Storage Containers. These still have plastic tops, but I try to keep the food from touching the plastic. It is still better than all plastic or plastic wrap. I’d like to eventually try some stainless steel options too. 2. Glass and Stainless Steel Water Bottles . I really hate disposable plastic water bottles and we found we can avoid using them by just planning ahead and filling our own bottles at home before going out. We use a variety of glass and stainless steel. Kleen Kanteen being what we use for the boys. They’ve had glass bottles too and we’ve never had an issue with things getting broken. We also don’t drink out of cans, (sparkling water, etc.) as the aluminum and plastic lining (remember metal rusts so all cans have plastic coatings) leach in to the drink. 3. Abeego Food Wraps. I WON’T use plastic wrap ever after learning how bad it is. These Abeego wraps keep food fresh so much longer too! Aluminum foil is toxic too (aluminum and plastic) so we stick with Abeego and it is reusable. 4. Berkey Water Filter. This pulls any extra toxins out of our water. Research water filters and you’ll learn that something like a Britta is pretty worthless, although being plastic, it probably does add more plastic to your water. We got a scratch and dent Berkey on sale and couldn’t be happier. It’s way more expensive than a Britta, but is cheaper than other quality filters and it really works. We actually opted not to do reverse osmosis filtering because we wanted the minerals, which a Berkey doesn’t filter out, and again the price was easier on our budget. 5. Weck canning jars. These are gorgeous and don’t have plastic, which is found on the typical canning jar lids. (Again the rust issue.) These lids are reusable and look beautiful. They’re more expensive, so I buy a few here and there, hoping to slowly add to my stash. They’re also metric, which throws my math brain for a loop, but I can overlook it for an all glass option. With the canning lid shortage I think I may invest more into weck, I’m yet to figure out if they can be pressure canned but they are safe for water bath canning. 6. Cast Iron Cookware. No nonstick pans in this house. We love our cast iron. While there are even better cooking options, for our budget, cast iron is perfectly fine. You just have to remember not to use soap to clean them. We have mostly Lodge cast iron because it is more affordable but I also love Le Crueset. 7. Non-toxic Parchment Paper. While we don’t use plastic wrap or aluminum foil, I do like a good parchment paper. I like to keep a few rolls on hand of this stuff. 8. Glass Dutch Oven and Baking Dishes. Our glass dishes with lids are great for heating or reheating and not drying out food. We reheat leftovers in the oven this way instead of using a microwave. 9. Instant Pot. Microwaves are horrible, and food typically tastes worse after using one. From issues of EMFs and radiation, to altering our food, we decided we never wanted one. We’ve found everything can be reheated on a stove or oven in just a little more time, and food tastes better. The instant pot can cook a whole frozen chicken in 40 minutes and it falls off the bone, instead of that rubbery mess you get from a microwave. I will caution against the Bluetooth/WiFi model, while I’ve never looked into the EMFs specifically to this model, typically anything Bluetooth/WiFi is going to emit EMFs, so we opted just to be safe and go without. 10. Wood Cutting Boards. There’s a reason wood was used for years before we thought plastic was better. Even before I was going plastic free, I noticed flecks of plastic coming off our old boards and started to question the marketing ploy that plastic was healthier. And yes, we do cut raw meat on our boards and clean with lemon, salt and a little Castile soap. Wood has anitmicrobial properties and we buy good quality meat. Healthy animals, mean healthy meat and we’ve never had a problem, but having said that, each family must decide what they are comfortable with. With wood it’s best to get solid wood without a mineral oil sealer and avoid toxic glues. This Bambu brand is supposed to be good which we will be trying next. 11. Avoiding Food in Cans or Plastic. Metal rusts, so to keep those cans rust free they’re lined with plastic. Whether BPA or not, plastic just isn’t good. We buy everything we can with as minimal plastic because it does get into foods. The biggest things that really leach plastics are oils, apple cider vinegar, and tomato products. I will always pay a little more and pick the glass option if it’s available. 12. Using the right oils. Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Avocado Oil, and Sesame Oil are our staples along with homemade raw butter and lard. I won’t use canola, vegetable oil, crisco, etc. and I really pay attention to smoke point guidelines. While not everyone agrees, olive oil isn’t recommended to be used at high temps. Since I have other options, I choose to reserve it for drizzling on food after cooking, or for slaw, dressings, and other non-heated recipes. If you’re sourcing high quality oil like Kasandrinos, then as long as it isn’t actually smoking, I’d be ok with cooking with it. We signed up for their subscription and get fresh olive oil delivered to the house. Here is a great smoke point printable to keep in the kitchen. BedroomsWhile it may seem dumb to dump crazy cash on bedrooms, it’s where we all spend 8 hours a day. When we sleep our bodies are try to heal and recoup, so giving them the best environment to do so helps them run at their best. The kitchen and bedrooms are where we made a big effort to save an buy better. 1. Non-toxic Mattress. I wish I could go back and rethink our mattress purchases, but you live and learn. The boys have beds from My Green Mattress, which we purchased when they occasionally ran a sale. It smelled a bit like hay, (it’s made of wool) but the smell was gone in a few days and little Danny loves hay so he didn’t mind at all. The bassinet mattress is Naturepedic. Our first crappy crib mattress is falling apart, so we’ll be upgrading to an organic one. We still have an old twin from my parents that was never sprayed with flame retardants because it’s so old, so we use that while we save up for new beds. 2. Non-toxic mattress protectors. Expensive mattresses better be protected from piddling babies am I right?! I love the boys cover and need to purchase another. Ours slightly melted in the dryer (I’ll not name names on who is at fault) but it still works. We try to keep two per bed just in case a sick child needs a sheet swap in the middle of the night. We have allerease for our bed. There are better options, but this was what worked best for our budget. 2. Plastic Free Blackout curtains. If curtains are lined with vinyl they off gas chemicals. We spent a little more money for better quality ones. We purchased what I call a better-not-best option from Pottery Barn. While it’s not exactly what I hoped for, it was more affordable and free of the nasties. Again, here is where we didn’t hit perfect, but it’s still better. They aren’t what I’d call blackout, but they do the job well enough. I can also always run another liner behind if we feel like we need things darker. 3. Salt lamp. These don’t have blue light and can be used at night instead of turning on a super bright light. They also claim to help filter the air, but you need to make sure it’s the right quality. A salt lamp should be pink, from Pakistan, and get water droplets on it during humid days. We keep ours on a saucer due to the water and make sure it’s on during rainy days. I love our one that has a dimmer because it can be left on at night. I don’t know if it really filters the air but it helps cut down on bright blue light so I’m happy with that. 4. Organic/ No Spray Pjs. There’s lots of good options out there. I keep anything that isn’t sprayed. If I’m buying I usually go with Burts Bees but Hannah Andersson and Milkbarn are other good options. I just wish milk barn sold more than baby sizes, their clothing is too cute. 5. Diffusers. Air fresheners, scented candles, sprays, and whatever else people may scent their homes with are all toxic and really bad for our health. We made the switch to diffusers and Essential oils. I may boil a small pot of cinnamon and apple cores or clove and oranges for a special popouri smell, but the diffusers are typically our go to. I always associated air fresheners as masking a hidden area of grunge, so I’m not one who needs much of a smell in the house. If you do need a scent, essential oils are much better. I hate the diffuser lights so I have one similar to this for the bedroom and this one looks pretty sitting in our living room. We have a total of four in our house which works pretty well for our needs. Bathroom and laundry1. Non-Vinyl shower curtain. The heat from the hot water makes the plastic on a shower curtain off-gas, meaning you breathe plastic fumes every time you shower. We use fabric liners and haven’t had any issues with them. They actually last longer, don’t get slimy, and can be washed, although I will say our hard water does stain them beyond fixing. 2. Norwex Body Cloths. We really don’t need as much soap as we think. These clean with water just fine. I wish I could fall in love more with these but the hard water doesn’t mesh well. I’ll still use the baby body cloths though. 3. Shea Moisture Products. Not every product of theirs is perfect, but most are pretty decent. I use their shampoo, conditioner, and baby soap for when the kids are barn filthy. 4. Castile Soap. This is my go to. Bar and liquid, you’ll find this all over our house. A little goes a long way and we use to to wash dishes, hands, dogs, floors, and even in our homemade baby wipes. They have lots of scents, which I keep on hand for different tasks. Peppermint for floors (spiders don’t like it), rose or lavender for hand, dog, and dish soap as well as diaper wipes. We’ve had good luck with most brands. They even sell travel size ones that you can put in a purse to use instead of the toxic stuff most public bathrooms carry. I really am not a fan of hand sanitizer so this is our alternative. We’ve even used our water bottles to wash hands at the car instead of dousing in the hand sanitizers. 5. Bon Ami Cleaner. This stuff is the better version of comet. I use it to clean tubs, showers, toilets, sinks, and the glass stovetop. I think it works just as well and it doesn’t have that awful chemical clean odor. 6. Wool Dryer Balls. I use these instead of dryer sheets. Just put a few drops of essential oil on them and toss them in the dryer with the clothes. I also like line drying when I can. The sun helps pull those nasty chemicals out and I spray them with an essential oil linen spray right before I take them in. 7.Laundry Detergent. I use a variety, but detergents can get pretty toxic so I won’t just use anything. What you put on your clothes sits on your skin and you breath in those chemicals all day. This was one of the first things our pediatrician suggested switching when our son started battling eczema. Branch Basics, Charlie’s soap, soap nuts (they’re actually nuts), and good old baking soda with tea tree essential oil are my go to’s. Branch Basics founder has an incredible story about the impact of toxins and how they developed the line to help those who are chemically sensitive. It’s annoying to no be able to go to the grocery store and pick up something good, but when we run out we can always use baking soda until the next order comes. MEDICINE CabinetEveryone has heard “you get what you pay for” but when it comes to food we typically go cheap, complain of high prices, and think quality doesn’t matter. I disagree and think quality in food, vitamins, etc. is very important, and we do our best to source the healthiest options for our family. While a high price does not guarantee a supplement or vitamin is good quality, a low priced “deal” should raise some red flags. Remember nothing is ever free, someone somewhere is paying for that saving, and sometimes we save with our wallets and pay with our health. If something isn’t in the budget we tend to go without. We’d rather not waste money on something that isn’t good, but everyone has to decide what works best for them. We research what we buy and make the best choice we can but nothing is ever perfect. 1. Beekeepers Naturals Propolis Throat Spray. We use this at any hint of cold/sore throat and it typically stops anything in its tracks. We won’t travel without it. 2. Mullein Garlic Ear Oil. Another thing we’re never without, this has stopped us from needing antibiotics for ear infections. At any hint of pain, a few warmed drops are put in both ears and the boys are usually pain free in 24 hours. I learned of this from pediatrician Elisa Song and it has been one of the best things we’ve done. 3. Xclear Nasal spray. Another thing I heard pediatricians recommend for flying, time spent with other kids, and just plain sniffles. The boys don’t like using it, so I only use it when there is a chance of early sniffles or congestion, or a known exposure to a sick kid, but I do feel like it helps cut the colds. 4. Honey. Raw local honey that hasn’t been heated, processed, or stored in plastic is what we want. Honey helps so much with sore throats and coughs. I break my plastic rule and do keep a few honey sticks in the car for on the go issues. Soda Pharm sells herbal powders you can mix into honey. We like their immune boost and tummy one for the boys, and they love their daily “honey vitamins.” 5. Cod Liver Oil. We use it fall-spring daily and the boys like lining up to take it and singing Baby Fishie. Since I don’t do supplements with them, I make sure they get this daily. 6. Elderberry and Echinacea. I add an echinacea tincture to the boys elderberry syrup as needed. We’ve made syrup before, but the berries are hard to source, so we find it easier to purchase it. They love it and I always try to find one made with real honey. Gaia herbs is a good source and our favorite is Wild Child Remedies with the added rose hips. They take this daily fall-spring and 2-3 times a day when coming down with something. 7. Vitamin A, D, C. While I take a variety of vitamins and supplements, I’m not anal about it and honestly take them based on how I feel every day. In the winter I do regularly make sure I’m taking A, D, and C in some way. If I don’t take a multivitamin, I’m definitely using all of these. If I brave the cod liver oil that day, I may cut back on the A and D, but I get it one way or another. We like the Seeking Health brand for our supplements. 8. Essential Oils. I’m not one that believes essential oils are a cure all, however if fragrances can be dreadfully toxic to us by just smelling them, it makes sense essential oils can have benefits as well. We buy from several brands, but with oils quality is everything. If it’s cheap, it’s probably just that, cheap. One way I check to see if a company is selling decent oils is checking their price on undiluted rose oil. If they’re selling it under $200 it’s probably not legit, which means I probably can’t trust their other oils either. We buy mostly from Plant Therapy or Rocky Mountain Oils but we’ve tried Young Living, Doterra, Edens Garden and others. 9. Badger Balm. If there’s one thing my kids think is a cure all it’s Badger Balm. They love it and use it on any bump, scratch, rash, or for no reason at all. We love the baby balms and use their sunscreen and chapsticks. It’s one of the few brands I trust on almost all their products. 10. Wellnesse toothpaste. I discovered Wellness Mama years ago, and her blog and podcast have helped so much with our health journey. Their new toothpaste is remineralizong and free of all the nasty products in other toothpaste. My kids hate mint, so they haven’t made the switch, but this is the only toothpaste I’ll buy. Until this came out I was making my own tooth powder using Wellness Mama’s recipe. We occasionally use activated charcoal for a whitener and it works wonders and no more sensitive teeth from whitening treatments. 11. Crystal Synergy Cream: This is probably the weirdest thing I use, but it definitely helps get rid of pain and general discomfort. I discovered it back in high school when my doctor recommended it. He said he didn’t quite know how or why it worked, but all his patients claimed it worked so I gave it a try. It’s basically crushed crystals that have been mixed into a cream, and I use it for pain relief, headaches and even stomach discomfort and have gotten relief. It’s not the easiest to find. Amazon used to carry it, but hasn’t had it in stock for a while. The cream is worth tracking down in my opinion. It just have to add I am not for the spiritualistic side that sometimes is behind the crystals, yoga, and meditation. I strongly believe that there is a spiritual side to health and you don’t want to mess with the wrong thing. Christ and the Bible are my only sources of spiritual growth and mediation. Take my advice or leave it, however I couldn’t recommend this product in good conscience, without warning I don’t support the alternative, spiritualistic side that others may want to offer with it. 12. Herbal Remedies. My biggest area where I’d love to grow is my understanding of growing and using herbs. The more and more I try, the more impressed I have been at how beneficial they can be. I mentioned Soda Pharm above, but if you are in Ohio, taking a trip there to talk to Dawn is worth it. We love their teas, their honey mixes, and their bitters. Dawn even made me a pain reducer that was safe for pregnancy and has helped a lot. Whether you’re local or not, there are plenty of herbal shops, books, and trained herbalists you can find. Dawn has a few books, and if you are local she offers classes on a variety of different topics. Typically, a larger farmers market may have someone who is knowledgeable about herbs, and I’d recommend picking their brain for local resources. Other Miscellaneous Things1. AFM Safecoat Paint. This is the only non-toxic brand available. All other eco paints may be good for the environment, but they’re not good for us. As things need painted in our home, we now paint with this. Not all their colors match our home perfectly, but they say they can color match, and for us it’s worth not getting the perfect color to avoid the toxins. I’m sure my mom would disagree being an interior designer, but hopefully if we ever need to color match, they will do a decent job. Safecoat sells stains, sealers, and plenty of non-toxic home products. 2. No Bluetooth or smart devices. Bluetooth, wireless, phones, and all the fancy gadgets put out EMFs, which is basically electro magnetic pollution. We might not feel it, but it can affect our cells function, sleep habits and more. We opt for the non-Bluetooth option every time. We even disassembled our sump pump’s back up battery, because it’s WiFi was making our house test through the roof when we tested for EMFs. While Alexa type devices may be fun, we don’t think the health concerns are worth it and choose to steer clear. 3. Shutoff Timer for Wireless Router. A simple plug in timer for the WiFi makes sure it shuts off every night while we’re sleeping. Our router is downstairs, directly under where the boys sleep, so I really want it off while they’re in bed. Maybe someday I’ll get Ethernet cables run through my house and ditch the wireless, but for now this is what we do. Our wireless was the biggest EMF offender other than the sump pump battery so we’d prefer to have it off when it’s not in use. 4. Beeswax Candles. All other candles pollute the air in your home, but beeswax is a purifier. After being at a friends once for hours around beautiful candles, only to come home with a sore throat and discover the inside of my nose and my baby’s was black, I was finally convinced to throw out my scented candles and make the switch. Beeswax has a beautiful faint scent, and the boys love making candles to give as Christmas gifts. 5. Non-toxic furniture. This has been a tough one. Most non-toxic furniture isn’t my style and is pretty expensive. We just purchased a new couch, which wasn’t from a green line, but the company didn’t spray any of their fabrics (stain preventers, fire retardants etc.). I also chose a style that would be fairly easy to recover, so we don’t have to keep dealing with an off gassing couch every time we need a new one. I’m not sure what they use for cushion fillers, but it was a decent find. Our other furniture is mostly hand me downs, thanks to generous family and friends, which means these things are a few years old and have already off gassed a lot of their chemicals. Swapping in fresh pillows and embracing a more antique-friendly style, helps hand me downs fit in our home well. Also, we lucked out with friends and family having pretty good style, so I can’t complain. 6. Open Windows. Our windows are open spring-fall, even with rain thanks to a few overhangs. With all the toxins in our homes, indoor air can be more toxic than outdoor, unless you’re in a highly polluted city. Switching from heat to AC and back, isn’t giving the home the same cleanse that opening the windows provides. Even in the winter, I’ll take advantage of the warmer days and allow a fresh breeze to blow in for 20 minutes before closing things back up. 7. No Carpet. Carpet is one of the biggest offenders in home pollutants, sometimes still off gassing 15-20 years later. New carpet is just plain toxic, and even if you splurge on non-toxic or have old carpet, the dust and mold that gets trapped still isn’t worth putting up with in my opinion. If you’ve ever pulled up carpet, it’s shocking the dirt that is trapped underneath. My home had dust bunnies older than my grandparents stuck under our ancient horsehair carpet. No amount of vacuuming gets it all clean, so we opt for area rugs instead. Most of our rugs are hand me down oriental rugs, which can be moved, cleaned, and vacuumed under. We skip the plastic filled rug pad and do just fine. The only place we have carpet is our super steep old stairs. It’s high quality 20 year old carpet that sat under my moms couch completely untouched. This seemed like the best option when faced with the possibility of little babies slipping with socks and tumbling down. Again, it’s all moderation and doing what makes the most sense for our family. 8. No Roundup or yard treatments. Yes we’re surrounded by crop sprayed land, but our little farm doesn’t do any weed spraying, bug spraying, chemical fertilizing, etc. Our gardens are filled with compost and our yard fertilized by chickens. I don’t spray for spiders in the fall, which is tough, and while it may be some extra work weeding, we’d rather not have the exposure to all the chemicals on our property. Our one son seems to react a bit to highly sprayed products, so that’s been part of the drive to avoiding it. Thankfully our neighbor is really considerate about giving us the heads up when he’s spraying and makes an effort to not spray when it could blow towards the house. Helpful ResOurces1. Think Dirty App. Not a huge fan of the name but this app helps you find clean products. You can scan barcodes and get ratings quick and it breaks it down really easily. 2. Just Ingredients on Instagram. This account makes it easy find better products, know what to swap, and it’s super easy, minimal reading required. She also has her own line of products. 3. Wellness Mama blog and Podcast. This was helpful in getting research info. 4. Mommypotamus blog. Great recipes, cleaning recipes, and baby info. I’m sure we’ll still make some mistakes in creating a non-toxic home, but my focus is creating the best home for my babies that fit with our stage of life. With every choice we make, things get a little bit better. When we go out, we don’t stress over the little things, because we know we come home to our little oasis. Our house may not be top of the line, designer perfect, but it fits our family’s needs and feels like a home.
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How is baby Benjy already one month old?! Time has flowin by and it's been a crazy first month, to say the least, with a wedding, surgery, and new job for Daddy. Other than our overnight adventure at the hostpital, we've lucked out with another pretty easy baby. He is a good eater and sleeper, 3-4 hours at a time, so I feel like I'm getting great sleep. He spits up and actually needs burped, which I wasn't used to, but I've gone off dairy and that seems to help. His little face is so tan with big blue eyes and dark fluffy hair. We have been joking he has frimples (frown dimples) as compared to his brother's normal smile dimples. Benjy attended his first wedding. It was a huge praise I was feeling well enough to be in my cousin's wedding, something I wouldn't feel up for now. Benjy came to the reception with Daddy and slept through everything, inlcuding dancing with Mommy. The month ended with a trip to Nationwide Children's hospital for surgery for the poor guy. He did great, but it wasn't easy to have our little baby having to be put under so young. He was such a trooper and our little hummingbird loved the little sugar water they gave him while trying to get blood and his IV in. Now he has an open wound that must stay clean so he's getting multiple baths day and night, which he loves. (We're not so fond of 3AM bathtime.) Little Danny overall has enjoyed being a big brother, although he has had his moments. We've had some good conversations about jealousy and how to use his words to share his feelings. My pain has been coming back and I find myself able to do less now than two weeks ago, which confuses Danny. It is hard to get a two year old to understand why mommy can't carry him when he sees Benjy getting carted around. Now with school out he can get more time with Daddy so hopefully that will help a bit. Danny loves getting to help care for Benjy, give him kisses, and hold his hand. He comes in and sings Good Morning God to Benjy and loves when Benjy gives him a smile. Before leaving the hospital he gave Benjy a little kiss and kept saying Benjy didn't want to go while we were driving there. It is warm outside now, and Benjy spends a lot of his time sleeping in the wagon while Danny plays outside. For me, it hasn't been an adjustment at all going from one to two. Thankfully, it is exactly how I expected and I think watching the other boys really helped me transition without an issue. Benjy is easy and learning to go with the flow. How we've managed to get two easy babies I don't know, but I'm very thankful. I love having a baby back in the house but I am also ready to be without pain and able to get normal life done. Daddy officially said goodbye to his classroom and 45 minute commute and is now going to be teaching 3rd grade in our district just 7 miles away! Previously he was driving 14,060 miles a year, now he's down to 2,627. (Yeah he did the math.) From gas to distance to insurance, it is such a blessing it is in so many ways and he will be able to see the boys in the morning now before work. We're so glad he's home for the summer!!!
I love writing and something about poetry has always interested me. The lack of rules and the way it can share a story with such few words intrigues me. Sometimes when I can't sleep that's where my mind goes. I love reading A.A. Milne and Robert Lois Stevenson to baby because they both had the ability to capture the heart and mind of a child. I like to think that maybe they both wrote really for the benefit of the parents, helping dust the cobwebs off those childhood memories, softening out our calloused adult hearts to remember the joy and life of childhood. Secretly getting us to put ourselves in our child's shoes and look again through childish eyes to see the world as it was intended to be seen. Danny typically has been a good sleeper but just as we got back into a good rhythm, he's back in our bed thanks to the snow plows. I remember my childhood well, seemingly better than most people. I remember the terror of sleeping in my room alone. I remember honestly thinking that my friends parents who NEVER let them in their bed, must not love them as much. Thankfully I never told my friends that, but I remember feeling so sorry for them. I remember the fears and terror of being alone, and the immense comfort it brought getting to snuggle in my parents bed after a storm or nightmare. As a parent I understand wanting him in his own room, and with another baby coming in April, I don't want to build a habit. Then the memories of what it was like being so scared as a child toss me back to letting him in our room. That's currently where we are. Wading through the murky waters of the best solution, trying to balance empathy with firmness and discipline. Trying to discern when to fight him and when to be understanding. For some it is so easy to say "just throw him in his bed." "He's safe. He's fine. He'll get over it." Yes, that's all true, but for me it will never be easy. I don't disagree that it may be the course of action we need to take, but I also don't believe it being hard to do shows weakness. I sometimes wonder if some parents don't struggle with it because they've forgotten those fearful nights many years ago, where I have not. So while yes, to the adult, the snowplow is nothing to fear. We know it cannot come through the windows and eat our toes, but that is the understanding of a logical, seasoned, experienced adult. To a child everything has more life, more potential, more joy, yet, also at times, more fear. As I rocked baby last night as he clung to my neck crying, my mind was thinking of the irony of it all; a love by day and a fear by night. The poetic words began swirling around, reminding me what life it like in the mind of a child. I decide to share it as a reminder of childhood. Maybe another parent can read this and find that extra bit of patience they need, as they too, frustratingly wade the murky waters of firm discipline and gentle understanding.
Yes, that's exactly what I mean, we've got two new kids around here. Meet Moxie and Mosley. When we got married, I made Danny promise we'd get back to Maine. That day could still happen, but definitely not for our 5th anniversary like we originally planned, so he got me two goats instead. I've always wanted a goat ever since I was a toddler and I finally have one! The thing is, goats are herd animals, so since we didn't have a buddy for one, we had to get two. We picked the names after things that had to do with our honeymoon to Maine. Moxie - Maine's soda that they think is amazing. We didn't agree but the name was cute. Mosley - After the Mosley Inn which is one of the places we stayed. Moxie is a doe and Mosley is a whether (that's a girl and fixed boy for all you city folk) and they got to come home as a early anniversary gift on Danny's birthday. Just what he wanted, two goats. We loaded a sleepy baby in the car with a cup of oatmeal for him and a cage in the back for goats and headed to Bellefontaine to get our little twins. Once I told baby the goats were trying to tell him stories he wasn't scared at all and was having his own little conversation with them on the way home. They're living in the cat shed (now goat shed), which is really more goat size and the cats seem to prefer living under the chicken coop anyways. I'm sure in the winter we may find the goats and kitties all snuggling together, but Peggy Sue, our chicken, ripped some of Pickles fur out the other day for no reason, so it doesn't look like the cats will be sleeping with the chickens. We absolutely love our litte goats and little Danny loved trying to show them around their new home. He doesn't understand that they don't really obey like a dog and he is always patting his legs trying to get them to come play or showing them how to stomp their feet. He loves it when they jump and is always trying to teach them how. He also loves to get them to sit on the bench. They really do like the bench. It's fun to see them yelling through their window in the morning and they are definitely attached to husband Danny, crying when he leaves and following him everywhere. They like following baby too, which he gets the biggest kick out of and they even chase the four wheeler with the dogs, although I think it's more out of separation anxiety than fun. Mosley is the baby, crying whenever Moxie is picked up or out of sight. To get him to come you just grab Moxie and he will be following behind screaming. He's also the escape artist, usually being the first out of the pen and then is upset Moxie is on the other side. I warned Danny goats always escape, but he said he'd take on the challenge. Right now I think the goats are winning. We let them run free when we're home, which means they're usually sleeping on the back step hoping to sneak inside (it's already happened a few times,) in the garage cleaning cut grass off the mower, or asleep on the bench. They think they're out once they're out of their pen so they don't care to escape through the actual fence. Harvey and Elmer are finally learning to play nicely. At first, both of the dogs thought we brought them toys to chase and needed some training, but everyone seems to be getting along well now. We've all been pleasantly surprised how much fun the goats are and we're all getting plenty of entertainment from them. This is it for animals here. We still are city folk enough to not like sharing our yard with too many critters. 2 Dogs, 3 cats, 18 chickens, and 2 goats; I think we're good.
All the kittens have moved on to new homes except one, little Porky. Since baby so loved his kittens we decided to keep one for him to play with. Of the four kittens we had three identical males that were almost all grey, except for two while spots, and then one calico girl that looked like our Petunia. Danny loved hugging them and finally got his courage up again to hold them after accidentally dropping one weeks ago and having it cling to his shirt. The kittens began exploring and decided to live under the coop. In fear they'd become feral and we'd never get rid of them, I set traps and trapped them all. In the process of the loose kitties, the dogs and baby loved running around the coop trying to find them. After the sheepdog running off with the trap and catching a chicken, we finally caught all three. The girl was the spunkiest and thankfully moved on first. I was worried she was going to go out on the road. She's living the life as a adored house cat. The other two boys went to my inlaws which I'm sure will be fun for Danny to be able to go and visit. He was enjoying feeding them when they moved to their new place. So now we have little Porky running around here. Danny and the dogs love searching for the kitten, which is usually hiding somewhere under or around the coop. I crack up every time I turn around to see them all butts up looking under the coop together. Danny cups his hands under his chin when he's trying to look or intently listen for something. It is the sweetest little face, but he of course won't ever replicate it on demand but I at least captured some glimpses of it. Once Harvey is in little Porky will venture out, playing with Polly or the bushes close by.
May 15, 2017 After missing it every time it came up, We finally dedicated Danny at church on Mother’s day this year. He is truly and gift from God and such a wonderful blessing in our lives. We’ve had his verse picked for him way before he was born. I stumbled across it when I was pregnant and it is my prayer that it becomes true in his life. When I read it two years ago, I couldn’t come up with a better way to express how I want Christ and the word of God to be in the hearts of my children. I’ve never heard anyone else use it and thought it might be weird to others, since it didn’t fall into the normal verses people pick, but it was so clear that this was to be my prayer for my children. As his dedication day approached, I happened to mention to my mom that we picked an abnormal passage in Ephesians three and she knew exactly which one. I guess years ago that was the very same set of verses she picked for our family and has prayed them over us throughout out lives. Even though she never told me about it until now, God has been instilling these truths in my life to the point that 25 years later I settled on the same passage for my baby. Is his word living and active or what?! I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power though his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:16-21 Retrieved from chickensandchalkboards.com || posted May 16, 2015 But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple courts, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they were indignant. Matthew 21:15-16 One thing I was so excited for about having kids in the house was having the excuse to be a kid again. Children and dogs seem to share the wonderful trait of always finding joy in everything. Kids have such a sense of wonder and curiosity over the simplest things, everything to them is new and exciting, ready to be explored. Their little minds exploding in curiosity and everyday discoveries. They help you learn to love things you once despised and to make things that had become dim now bursting in new life. The busy road outside our house, that I can sometimes so despise, is a favorite of Danny's. He loves watching all the traffic go by. We spend several evenings when he is tired just watching cars, and I find myself at times wanting a car to come because the road has been quiet for so long. Never would I have thought I would be wanting another a car to come down that road. You dont have to teach a baby to want to learn, discover, or imagine. Somewhere along the way we all allow the humdrum of life to overtake us, stilling our dreams, guffawing at our curiosities, and blending us all in like one another. We learn to complain about the dumbest things and quickly our kids pick it up too. Sometimes I welcome the rainy days. I love the pitter-patter sound the rain makes, but grey rainy days normally arent my thing and Im sick of them about this time of the year. Storms are different but that cold drizzle that most Ohioans seem to prefer to snow for whatever dumb reason just irks me. Like everything else, little Danny loves it. He quietly watches the rain patter against the car window and streak past. He loves to look out the window at it is splattering in the garden and grab at the droplets on the window as they slip and slide down. It reminds me of the A.A. Milne poem that my mom and grandma used to say to me as a kid. I've always been the type that when a friend tells me they've grown up, we tend to fall apart. Growing up means you sit around mulling over life with your friends and a glass of wine, and its just not me, at least not for another 20 years hopefully. Im the one that wants to still play tag with the kids on the playground and have stupid crazy dance parties. When we go for a drive I still notice the good trees to climb and the good sledding hills. Just the other day I was scouting out a good place for a swing and was contemplating adding climbing planks on the tree branches so little Danny can one day get to bigger heights, and he's not even crawling yet. Ive thought about figuring out a way to put a switch on the security light over the driveway so we can get the yard extra dark for Ghost in the Graveyard, and Danny and I have dreamed about glamping out the truck for the perfect meteor shower backyard campout. Baby chub is nowhere near needing any of those things yet, but he will get there. For now we spend the day finding baby appropriate discoveries. Last summer I was looking out at our yard, well speckled with golden dandelions and thinking how pretty it was. I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to have a kid tromping through all of them, giddy over the endless number of puffs there were to collect. As adults we hate dandelions, they over take your yard, can somehow manage to matrix the lawn mower, and suddenly stretch super tall with their ugly puffs, planting millions more with the next gust of wind. A kid however, can see their beauty, finding endless amounts of joy in them. I remember their was a lot at the end of my grandmas neighborhood that was overgrown with dandelions and I was jealous of how many there were. I always wanted to get down there when they were puffy and run and spin through the field, kicking up as many puffs as possible as they followed me along in the air. I would pick a bouquet of them to take home, but get so frustrated over how I could never manage to keep them perfect by them time we got back. Id give me mom yellow stamps by rubbing the flowers on her hand, and always wanted a crown out of them. Kids love to give bouquets of dandelions and so many times at school, kids would pluck one up for a teacher, yet too often as adults we look at that gift through adult eyes and forget exactly how precious that gift is in the eyes of the child. It was peak bloom of the dandelions the other day and little Danny was enraptured by them. At first he couldn't understand where the puffs would go when he scrunched them in his sweaty hand but then he learned to fluff them with his finger tips or wave the whole thing in the air. Eventually, all he wanted to do was eat them, which he didn't like, and I preferred not to have to dig them out of his mouth, so I would blow them in his face and he would try to catch them. Even Elmer enjoyed it, jumping and barking, trying to get them and stealing empty stems from Danny. By the end Danny was covered in fluff and I'm still picking it out of the stroller, even found some in the bed this morning, but he loved it and I was so happy to get to experience the joy of dandelions again. It was one of those wonderful afternoons where the sun was casting its warm evening glow across the yard. The chickens were clucking around and the hum of lawn mowers could be heard at every house. Baby Danny was just kicking back in a t-shirt and diaper and we enjoyed a simple dinner of grilled cheese on the deck. We watched the chickens eat up their last bugs and hop into the coop for the night as the tree frogs awoke and began singing in the woods behind. My wish for you little one is to never lose your sense of wonder. People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them.
Mark 10:13-16 |
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