These days little Danny is full of questions. We skipped the "WHY" stage and he went straight to wanting to know about anything and everything. "Where's it come from?" "What's that (fill in toddler description) thing?" "Where's it?" "Where's our house go?" "What's that noise? My hear something." "What my mell?" (What do I smell?) We're answering hundreds of questions a day and car rides now don't have much room for conversation time between mom and dad. Danny wants to know about everything, and you better not give him a one word answer, or you're getting the same exact question thrown right back at you. I've learned the trick to not getting the same question, is giving him a long enough answer that just begins to hit the boring, too-much-information zone. Thank goodness he's learning to at least describe things now, and were past him expecting us to know exactly what he spotted while we were driving 70 mph on the highway. He's learning to describe by color, size and shape, which helps us out. If its a sound, he's getting pretty good at mimicing just about anything. Sometimes he doesn't like our answer and corrects us. Why he has to ask about something he already knows, I still haven't fiured out. Sometimes we just throw the question back at him, if we know he already knows the answer. And boy is this kid observant! I honestly can believe what he notices, connects, and even remember from months past. He notices everytime I'm hurting and hold on to the handle to get out of the car saying, "You got out like Nana." (Exactly what everyone wants to hear, that they're moving as well as their 80 year old grandma.) He notices sounds I completely tune out. Last night he asked, "Whats that noise?" When I incorrectly said it was the birds out the window, he said, "no" and made a low humming noise. Only then did I realize the dehumidifire hum running up the vents from the basement. "What my mell" is one of his top questions, especially in the car. From rain in the air to manure at the barn, he notices and asks about it all. For the first time I've noticed the sweet, faint smell of honeysuckle coming in the windows on the drive home along the river. How many times have I done that drive and never even noticed it. I am truly thankful what he is opening my eyes (and ears and nose) to. Every parent will tell you playing non-stop 20 questions makes you about ready to go to insane. Its the constant, "Where's my house go," and "Mommy point to my house," when we're nowhere close, that is exasperating. It is like he thinks if I point to where it is, it will magically appear and we will be home. When that starts we try to find anything out the window for redirecting for everyone's sake. Not liking my answer, or those times I have no idea what he's talking about, can be really frustrating for both of us. He's not the type to be fooled about me not knowing what he is asking, and I don't want to lie and just make up something to shut him up. I try to explain that I don't always know but it is a good question. Sometimes I suggest someone else he can ask, or we just talk about how God made things the way they are. The thing is, I love seeing how his mind works, how he wants to learn, and how observant he is, but it is a daily test on my patience. I'm trying to remind myself when he's asked me the same thing for the 100th time to be patient, talk kindly, apprecitiate his learning, and try to find the humor in it all. The thing is, the kid is freaking smart! I'm not saying he's any genius or even smarter than any other kid, but compared to me he's miles ahead. Kids have a fresh, energetic, inquisitive mind that we as adults tend to lose. They want to learn, to explore, to question. Everything is new and fascinating. They will make connections to things we never thought of and notice the tinest of details if we just keep out mouths closed and let them explore. They don't have the negative look on things. Life isn't boring. They don't know everything and are completely ok admitting it. He's teaching me again to notice the little world around me. I don't need to go anywhere to have an adventure or be entertained, I just need to reengage my mind again. For as exasperating at times it can be, I don't want to squelch his inquisitive mind. I don't want to teach him to live life with a brain on autopilot. I want him to share his interests, questions, ideas, and observations with me. I want him to know I really do care about what he thinks. But none of that will stay if I respond with a tone, or a quick answer. He'll eventually not share his mind with me, and maybe even worse, completely quit thinking. I don't want to have a teenager someday, who doesn't want to talk to me, because, as a toddler, I taught him I was too impatient and uninterested to care to listen.
Unfortunately I don't feel I do well at it. When I have responded wrongly, I apologize. I tell him it wasn't ok for me to be cross or short. I tell him I need to speak kindly and ask God to help me when I feel impatient. I also tell him how much I really love that he wants to learn and I want him to ask questions. I tell him how I love his stories and knowing what he is thinking. These days it is my prayer that I will be able to listen, engage, be patient, and value those questions in the moment because I really do love how his mind works.
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